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"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
-- from the movie "Billy Madison"
"Do not compute the totality of your poultry population until all the manifestations of incubation have been entirely completed."
-- William Jennings Bryan
(In other words, don't count your eggs before they hatch)
"When seeking a companion, become the type of person you would like to attract!"
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